Oh, dem hills!!

Beginners fear them, seasoned pros hunt them. Whether you’re one or the other, or somewhere in between, you can’t avoid them for too long… hills. We’re talking both running and cycling; hills are there to be conquered. We can’t be afraid of them, we must embrace them!

When I go running, or cycling, I pretty much live in the moment; I don’t worry about what’s to come because it doesn’t achieve anything. Actually, I’m pretty much like that about most things in life. Think about what might happen and plan for it, but don’t worry about it. Taking on a hill – what’s the worst that could happen? You have to walk. Boohoo. Big deal. You’ll still get to the top, right? I’m not saying that this is the right way to be, but life has been less stressful since I got this way.

So what is it about hills that scare us so much? Is it failing to reach the top at our chosen sport? If you don’t run all the way to the top, you’ve failed? Or if you don’t cycle all the way to the top, you’ve failed? Or is it that you’re afraid that your lungs will pop out of your nostrils (as apparently happens on Nostril Hill in the Peak District, according to my friend Jane – I believe the name is made up, but check on Google maps just in case) or that your heart will beat out of your chest?

Are any of these reasons, reason enough not to make an attempt?

What will you lose if you don’t run or ride to the top? Your dignity? Your life?! I can tell you now – none of the above (unless you’re really unlucky and your time happens to have come during you hill climb, but that’ll just be coincidence). Your greatest loss of dignity will come from the decision not to have a go. For just that, you should be ashamed. Yeah, it’ll hurt, your calves or thighs might start screaming, but you just have to scream louder! You keep going until you absolutely, definitely can’t go any further!! And even then, go a bit further!!

What will you gain, even if you don’t run or ride to the top? Kudos. Bigger lungs. Stronger legs. Stronger arms. Stronger heart. Stronger mind. And, often, a view to die for.

Recently I was riding in the Peak District, and part of the route was going up Winnats Pass. Any road that has the word ‘Pass’ in it, is bound to be steep, and this is certainly no exception. I slogged it out for as long as I possibly could – my heart was pounding all the way up into my brain, and eventually I just couldn’t do it any longer, so I had to get off and walk. Which, in cleats, is nearly as hard work as cycling! Did I fail? Not in my mind, because I achieved as much as I physically could, and I refuse to believe there is failure in that. Do I wish I’d made it to the top (where Jane and Ju were waiting for me – damn them and their strong legs and extra gears!)? Of course I do. But maybe next time I will. Or the time after that. Or the time after that (when I have more gears and/or stronger legs).

Winnats Pass

The only failure comes when you give up. And only you know if you’re giving up, or you really can’t push any more. And if you reach the point where you really can’t push any more, you’ve given it your all? Then you’ve progressed. Trust me on that one.

Once you get over you fear of hills, you will embrace them.

As a runner up a steep hill, you can really drive your arms, there’s power in your stride (there has to be, just to get up the thing!) and there’s euphoria when you get to the top. And if you’re really hard-core, you run back down and do it again…

As a cyclist, it’s you and your steed against the mountain. Who will win this time? If the mountain wins, you say, respectfully “next time, old pal”. If you and your steed win, you say “IN YOUR FACE, MOUNTAIN!! IN YOUR FACE!!!”. As loud as you can.

Ok, so this is portraying every hill as if you’re in the Alps. What about those crappy little hills? The ones you can’t really tell are there, they just slow you down a bit and you can’t really figure out why? IN YOUR FACE, STUPID LITTLE HILLS! Use them for strength, build on your speed every time you go up them, trying to beat your PR each time. Remember, you’re never racing anyone but yourself!

Want some real-life examples of people conquering hills?

I give you my friend Nicky – the first ‘proper’ hill we got to during a bike ride together resulted in Nicky nearly falling off and having to walk up the hill. She hated them and feared that happening again. As a friend, maybe I should’ve just suggested we bypass the hills and gone for flatter routes during subsequent rides, but I’m a fan of the tough love and was having none of it. I’m not suggesting that it was me that cured Nicky of her hill fears, but she had to face them, and did so with gusto! She got on her bike, pointed it in the direction of a hill, and gave it all she had. And guess what? She made it up, time and again. Will she never be beaten by a hill again? Doubtful. But it’s gonna take a hell of a hill to do it!

I also give you my friend Katherine – you know how I love to blog about Katherine! She would ONLY run a flat route, despite my efforts to persuade her otherwise, until one day she went a different route with ‘hills’ in it. These were not hills, they were mere mounds of earth. Nope, Katherine had to run a proper hill, so I took her up the most brutal hill I could find within a 2-mile radius of my house. “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.” She could, and she did. Did she feel like she was going to die at the top? Yes, probably, but she didn’t die, and she felt smug as a smug thing when we were done.

What about hills that go in the opposite direction? You know, downhill? If you’re a runner, trust your shoes. If you’re a cyclist, ask someone else because I’m the biggest downhill wuss there is on a bicycle! It’s a fear of death. Not from some unrealistic ‘too much like hard work’ scenario, but from an actual ‘I could hit a pothole at this speed and die’ type of scenario. But I’m working on it. I do wear a helmet, after all.